Five Reasons to be Thankful for Global Warming

As we give thanks this holiday season, we should all try to look on the bright side of global warming. Oh sure, we are depleting our natural resources and our environment is on the brink of disaster but we should choose to see the glass half full of (toxic) water, rather than half empty. Here are a few perspectives to get you started:

1. An increase in our average global temperature means no more bulky reindeer sweaters from Aunt Edna every Christmas. Whew!

2. Global sea levels could rise by 20 feet, which means that I could potentially own ocean-front property if I stay in my house long enough. I’ve always wanted my own private island.

3. Granted, about 200 million people will be displaced with the rising sea levels but just think of the market growth for the moving companies. Talk about a stimulus package! Note to self: buy stock in U-haul.

4. According to the Environmental Defense Fund, the US fire season has increased by 78 days in the past twenty years. Bust out the marshmallows and let’s make some s’mores!

5. More than a million species worldwide could be driven to extinction by 2050, which means fewer endangered animals for the World Wildlife Fund to worry about. WWF employees can finally take that well deserved eco-tour vacation in Costa Rica (but not until that last baby seal is gone).

So before we all sit down to the table with our families this Thanksgiving, let's savor all the reasons to be thankful for global warming and relish in the fact that America is the number one polluter in the world. See...we are still the best at some things. What are you thankful for this year?